Kids miss their moms when they're gone

The other day Moses told me that if children lose their mothers they will miss them. I asked him what made him think of that, and he told me that he read a book at school, and I realized after a little bit of discussion, that he was talking about the book "are you my mother?" it was one of my favorites is a little kid so made me smile, knowing that Moses was getting older and liking the same books that I had liked as a kid.

It also made me feel sadness in the pit of my stomach. Thinking about Moses ever being sad because his mother was not there almost made me cry right on the spot. 

Moses, if Mommy ever goes home to heaven before you grow up, please know that you are, and always always will be, my sweet and special boy. The greatest joy in my life is being a mom to you and Eden; everything else is a distant second. I want for nothing more than being able to see you guys grow up and become the people that God intends you to be. I love you so deeply and thoroughly that I think my heart is actually broken from holding so much love in it. You are the one that, in that moment when you took your first breath, completely changed me forever in the most radical and magical way. You made me a mother, a teacher, a nurturer, a healer, a disciplinarian, and so many more things than I can list here. I can't tell you enough, I love you SOOO much (!), now and forever, my son. 

Everything is awesome

Shane, Moses, and I were singing the song from the Lego movie, and we couldn't remember the word after "Everything is awesome, everything is hmhmhm hmhmhmhm..." 

Moses says, "Well, we're all on the same page about that." 

No naps these days

PreK seems to be great, except that I'm guessing mosey isn't able to get the sleep he needs during the 45 minutes or whatever is usually scheduled. So, this happens on the way home from daycare sometimes, which doesn't really do great things for our evenings together, but you know. Whatever. :) he's so cute. 

Polar bears

"Mommy, Simone said that polar bears live in the future. And Ms. Teria didn't say anything. And I said, 'No, polar bears live in the snow.' And Ms. Teria said, "Yes, that's good." 

Will and Hopen

I was surprised to learn that Moses knew the names of the Children's Healthcare of Atlanta boy and girl, Hope and Will. 

Then he told me, one is named Will and the other one is named Hopen. Haha! 

In related news, Moses's new pre-K teacher is named Ms. Farhana, and she has an accent when she speaks English. On his second day, he told me he learned a new way of singing the song Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes. He proceeded to sing the song exactly the same as always, and then he interjected (the "new" part): "Go a leetal fosta," after each verse. 

No, buddy your teacher has an accent and she's actually saying, "Go a little faster." She just says it a little differently. 

So cute, right? :)

Also, our great friends the Maloneys paid us a lovely surprise visit this weekend, and Andrew pooped without the potty seat while he was here. And suddenly, we are now free of that dirty old Cars potty seat!!! I'm thrilled!!! :)

4

Today, on his fourth birthday, was the first time I told Moses he looked handsome and he responded with, "No Mommy, I look cool!" 

Indeed, you are quite a cool little dude. :)

A quick cc pancake breakfast before daycare. :)

Only 6 more days

Excerpt from Sandra Cisneros's short story: Eleven

What they don’t understand about birthdays and what they never tell you is that when you’re eleven, you’re also ten, and nine, and eight, and seven, and six, and five, and four, and three, and two, and one. And when you wake up on your eleventh birthday you expect to feel eleven, but you don’t. You open your eyes and everything’s just like yesterday, only it’s today. And you don’t feel eleven at all. You feel like you’re still ten. And you are—underneath the year that makes you eleven.

Like some days you might say something stupid, and that’s the part of you that’s still ten. Or maybe some days you might need to sit on your mama’s lap because you’re scared, and that’s the part of you that’s five. And maybe one day when you’re all grown up maybe you will need to cry like if you’re three, and that’s okay. That’s what I tell Mama when she’s sad and needs to cry. Maybe she’s feeling three.

Because the way you grow old is kind of like an onion or like the rings inside a tree trunk or like my little wooden dolls that fit one inside the other, each year inside the next one. That’s how being eleven years old is.

You don’t feel eleven. Not right away. It takes a few days, weeks even, sometimes even months before you say Eleven when they ask you. And you don’t feel smart eleven, not until you’re almost twelve. That’s the way it is.

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A colleague mentioned the other day that her 3-year old son, just before he was to turn 4, asked her if she was going to miss the 3-year old son. And that comment made me instantly miss 3-year old Moses. I know that little boy will always be inside of our growing young man, but I sure am going to miss him as we see him less and less. He's the little boy that asks me to play cars with him. The little boy that likes to suck his thumb, pinch his belly button, and snuggle with me. The little boy that gets such joy as he sings made-up songs while he plays the xylophone. The 3-year old Moses will always have a special special space in my heart. and i will keep wishing desperately for time to move just a bit slower.