Forgiveness

I admit, I am hard on Moses. I expect a lot from him--he is so smart and he has so much EQ, and he can be so amazing! But with these high expectations, I am also often disproportionately disappointed by his 4-year old boy behavior. Disproportionate disappointment, combined with my exhaustion and general lack of margin, I realize I lose my cool a lot. Like, a whole lot, much more than I'd like to admit. So I apologize a lot. And my wonderful son forgives a lot. His forgiveness is so pure. So simple. Without strings or need for proof. He just forgives and affirms his neverending love for me. "I love you times infinity, Mommy!" 

I have so much to learn about forgiveness in my life. About how to receive it. How to offer it. How to fall into its freedom. About how to really love. And my 4-year old boy is teaching me all about it. 

What did your mom look like, Mommy?

Tonight, while snuggling quietly in Moses's bed, he asked me to tell him about my mom. I was describing her and telling him how very pretty she was, and he looked at me with wide eyes, "was she as pretty as you??" It was so sweet. 

He watched me talk about her, and When I got teary-eyed, he noticed and said, "are you sad mommy? Because she died?" I told him yes, I miss her very much. 

He listened intently and asked questions about her. He asked if she was smart. He asked me if she liked to do hair because she was so beautiful. He asked me if my dad has died. And then remembered happily that he had seen him on Monday. 

I wanted the time to never end. I finally tore myself away at 8:30. Too late for a four and a half year old to be going to bed, but not long enough for this momma to soak it all in. He is such a bright, caring, eager, fun little boy. I hope I get to see him grow old and wise. 

He was surprised to find out that he'll always be my son, even when he's a dad/grown up. Haha. I love that kid. 

Name that tune!

Moses's super human ability is being able to name that tune. Shane and I were saying the other day that we had "My House" stuck in our heads. If you know the song, and know us, you would likely know that when we sang the song, it didn't sound like much. But then, days later, the song came on the radio. And at the very first note, of the song, not even the chorus, before I even recognized it, Moses said excitedly, "Hey, it's that dog that you and Daddy had in your head!" 

Superhuman ability. Bam.