Does he really have memories from 3 years ago?

I bought these Korean rice snacks last month, those ones that are the size of dinner plates. The last time I had bought them was when Moses was Eden's age, because they are easy to hold and eat for babies. And we never had them again because Shane didn't enjoy them, and the bag of them was just too big for me and Moses to finish. 

Well, I bought them again, 3 years later, for Eden to try and enjoy. I handed Moses one, and he immediately said, "I've had these before, Mommy!" With a little nudging, he told me more, "I ate these when I was a baby, at Colonial Homes (our previous apartments), and it was yummy, and I liked to suck on them, because I was a baby and I liked them." 

Wow, right? 

compliments feel so good

if you haven't ever had a 4-year old boy compliment you, you'll have to experience it sometime. it's rather awesome. it's been a few days, but i'm still enjoying the feeling. what's kind of embarrassing is that it wasn't for anything particularly substantial this time. 

i was buttering his bread, and he said to me, "mommy, you're a good butter-put-er-on-er. you're good at that." 

i like to slather it on thick and evenly across the slice. so, yes, i guess i am a good butter-put-er-on-er, if i do say so myself. 

also, these days, he remarks how certain parts of his body are getting larger, like his head, or his one hand, or his toes. it's really really cute. 

4 years and 2 months

our little boy is getting older right before my eyes. the other day, i suggested that he wear pants, and he turns to me and says, "no thank you, mommy, i have shorts."

He stood looking in the mirror the other day and said, "my head is getting bigger, mommy." Not sure what that was in reference to. 

i asked him in the middle of a fussy attitude, "buddy, does fussing and whining ever work?"

he responds, "no. <ahem> mommy, can you change your mind and give me some juice?"

on the other hand, he is still a little boy. a little boy who has peed in his bed approximately 793 times in the past two weeks. that's an exaggeration, but it is about 2 times a night. it's making me a little bit tired, to say the least. i thought it was because of his hand, foot, and mouth disease, which caused a terrible, quarter-sized, thrush-covered ulcer on his tongue. but alas, it's not there anymore, and he's still doing it. *sigh*

also, thank you, Europe for your special HFMD that also affects adults, including me! i got a little sore on my lip and one little one on my hand. and mose and i were business-as-usual the whole time we were contagious. so, you're welcome for the new European HFMD, CDC/Kindercare/Clarkston. you're welcome.

The moment you find out your not invited

To Ms. Yamile's work baby shower:

This is real life, people! 

Triceratops

Mommy, let's be Triceratops. You be the mommy Triceratops, I'll be the big brother Triceratops, Baby can be the baby Triceratops, Daddy can be the daddy Triceratops, and Judy can be the Judy Triceratops.

He snaps like it's no big deal

So, everyone with grown kids tells me with such nostalgia sparkling in their eyes that we need to enjoy this time. How, pray tell, does one do that? I mean, I really do my best to soak in the moments, but I still feel like these kids are growing up right before my eyes.

Not even a couple of weeks ago, Moses was all tucked in bed, but whining about how he wasn't able to snap. I sat down with him and let him know that if he really practiced, he could probably get it before too long. I showed him what my hand does when I snap and helped him move his fingers and thumb the same way I was doing. I never heard about it again.

Cut to this weekend, when he was chatting with Aiden, and he started snapping at the end of a sentence when he got really excited. As if he had been doing it for years. No big deal. He wasn't even showing it off to me that he had learned to snap! He was playing it cool.

*sigh* I feel like I'm missing his childhood, even though I'm watching with my eyes wide open. I'm destined to become one of those nostalgic, doe-eyed parents in their sixties.

On the other hand, only the first time in his whole life, he said tonight, after telling us that we forgot to brush his teeth, "Oh, I have an idea! How about I go to bed without brushing my teeth!" So that kind of sounds like a little kid thing to say. And I'd like him to stay my little buddy for just a little while longer.

"Say 'bulldozer' one more time for Mommy?" 

"Boo-dozer," he acquiesces. 

Kids miss their moms when they're gone

The other day Moses told me that if children lose their mothers they will miss them. I asked him what made him think of that, and he told me that he read a book at school, and I realized after a little bit of discussion, that he was talking about the book "are you my mother?" it was one of my favorites is a little kid so made me smile, knowing that Moses was getting older and liking the same books that I had liked as a kid.

It also made me feel sadness in the pit of my stomach. Thinking about Moses ever being sad because his mother was not there almost made me cry right on the spot. 

Moses, if Mommy ever goes home to heaven before you grow up, please know that you are, and always always will be, my sweet and special boy. The greatest joy in my life is being a mom to you and Eden; everything else is a distant second. I want for nothing more than being able to see you guys grow up and become the people that God intends you to be. I love you so deeply and thoroughly that I think my heart is actually broken from holding so much love in it. You are the one that, in that moment when you took your first breath, completely changed me forever in the most radical and magical way. You made me a mother, a teacher, a nurturer, a healer, a disciplinarian, and so many more things than I can list here. I can't tell you enough, I love you SOOO much (!), now and forever, my son.