i regretted my decision immediately

i've been giving Moses small tastes of various flavors over the last couple of months because (in theory) it will make them into better eaters as older kids... well, at least more tolerant of different kinds of foods.  so, on sunday, we were at bee-dubs (a wing place), and i had a bite of a delicious curry flavored chicken wing.  without thinking too much about it, i put a little sauce on my finger and offered it to Moses, who very willingly sucked it right off.  as it turned out, it was actually quite spicy.  enter regret.  and guilt.  :O]

as the fire was slowly and frighteningly spreading in my own mouth, i could see the pain spread across Mo's little facial expression as well.  i tried offering other foods, and of course, he doesn't know anything about that, so he just knows his mouth hurts and he wants it to stop.  poor baby.  after what seemed like a really long time, i got ice water into his mouth using a straw, and that actually seemed to help.  thank goodness. crisis averted.  turns out that spiciness was appropriate motivation for mo to drink a bit more water through the straw regularly on his very own!  way to excel, sweet boy.

love,

me

whoopsies, cry-it-out-gone-wrong

looks like i'm not winning any awards this week for mommy of the year.  i put mo down for a nap yesterday afternoon, just normal-like, and he played a little while and then instead of just falling sleeping, he started to cry.  see, sometimes (seldomly these days, but sometimes), he cries for like five or ten minutes before he can settle down and fall asleep.  so, i thought i'd wait it out, instead of teaching momo that crying will earn a social visit from mommy.  well, the cries got louder and louder, and i just kept thinking, maybe he'll go to sleep in the next five minutes... and 30 minutes later, he was really screaming.

i gave in and checked on him.  guess what, my friends?  he had managed to get into the sitting position and had scooted up to face the side of the crib, so i guess he couldn't figure out how to lie back down.  and well, he couldn't fall asleep in that position.  he was crying for someone to rescue him for 30 minutes.  whoops.  :O(

i scooped him up and held him until he caught his breath and put him back down.  he was exhausted and asleep within five minutes.  poor liddo one.

milestones are tricky sometimes i guess.  also to note, mo's appetite for solids has returned in full force, leaving breastmilk in the dust.  i wish he came with a manual.

love,
mmmmm

the day he fell off the couch

the day i have been dreading for approximately 8 months and three weeks has come.  our baby rolled off the couch and hit the floor this morning.  i had just set him down on the couch right next to me, managed to spill a small cup of juice, and was rescuing my folder and books from the growing pool, when it happened.  the sickening thud of a small body hitting the ground and shrieking cry of pure infant pain, shock and distress.

i immediately picked him up and said "mommy's sorry" about fifteen times, trying to sooth and hold him close.  of course, Mo is not really ever soothed by my embrace or touch (never has been, even as a newborn), but i still held him close and rocked him.    i held him by the sliding glass door too, which usually helps him calm down, but it didn't help much.  he kept crying for a few minutes (seemed like an eternity).  after he quieted a bit, i laid him down, opened up his pajamas and checked his body and head for injuries.  i found a two-inch straight bruise forming on his shin... i imagine that was where he hit the coffee table on the way to the floor.  :O(  other than that, no obvious bleeding or bruising, no vomiting and no mood shifts.  so that was good.

it was just about time for his nap too, and some websites said that a nap after a fall is okay and could actually be restorative for the baby.  so, i put him down and he seems to have fallen asleep quite well, so i think that was another good sign (he's no longer crying and in pain).  i still hear him breathing on the baby monitor, so i'm glad for that too.  i'll be anxiously waiting for him to wake up so i can make sure of his behavior and everything.

if you sense a large undertone of mommy guilt here, you are correct.  man.  i'm so sorry, little buddy.

love,
me

sitting, waving, and crawling

okay, so lots of milestones here in the last week or so.  i think that Mo likes to save them up and do them all at once.  :O)  a week ago, i found him sitting after his nap.  i thought it might really be his new thing, since he loves to sit up, but hadn't been able to figure out how to get from lying down to sitting up.  but well, he did it that one time, and hasn't done it since.  just like that week where he said "uhm ma" (mommy in Korean) back about three months ago and hasn't said it since.  ha.

he also started waving hello.  he did it all evening at church, took a couple days' break, and now he does it a few times a day.  :O)  yesterday, he waved to a guy coming out of a bar as we were going into a restaurant next door for dinner.  it was sweet, and i like to believe that guy's life was touched somehow.

today, he crawled for the first time.  and Shane and i were there to see it!  he didn't only do it once, he did it for a good half hour (with the camera and the iphone as his inspiration), and he just got better and better at it.  it was, as i keep saying about many things that Mo learns to do, like watching a MIRACLE.  i cried because i was happy and so proud--the anticipation of crawling had been around for a couple months now... and i cried because i was sad--our little baby is growing up.  it's such a paradox, i want so badly for Mo to grow up and become independent, and i want so badly to keep him as this pure and precious little baby.  i don't understand it, i confess.

in other news, his eating habits are wildly fluctuating.  he loved peas, now he gags and throws up if they touch his tongue.  he loved sweet potato, now he can sometimes tolerate them.  he hated meat, now he can just eat meat by itself.  he only likes smooth watery textures, he only likes chunky food.  mealtimes are just one big trial and error.  for a week in there, he barely ate anything... and guess what?  he survived, complete with all his wonderful chubbiness in tact.

love,
me