terrible one's (no longer terrible two's)?

i got an email the other day about our baby's development (i'm on several email lists telling me about what to expect about moses), and this is what it said:

Expect mealtime messes, new words (like "NO!"), squirmy diaper changes, and mood swings. (In case you haven't heard, one is the new two.) 

i can definitely see most of these things happening, but it was the end of the statement that really stood out to me.  i wondered if this was true, and after mulling it over for a time and paying careful attention to mo's behavior, i decided it must be true.  yesterday, even, i witnessed what can only have been called a one-year-old-sized tantrum.  what had happened was... we try to teach the little guy not to chew on his books.  he tried to do that last night, so i took the book away, and he started on a really ugly cry.  complete with tears and everything.  i just sat through it.  i didn't console him.  i didn't reward him by giving the book back to him.  i just sat through it.  it was really uncomfortable.  then i shifted him into the bath, and he eventually quieted down on his own.

i began to wonder if people in other countries have something similar to the "terrible two's" and temper tantrums.  maybe i just blocked it out, but really, i feel like i can't remember any fellow kids in my old [Korean] church having temper tantrums.  what i do remember is adults who would not stand for misbehavior.  kids never won.  parents always ruled.  it was what kept us young kids in line when we were unsupervised for hours at a time while the parents had revivals all night long.

it makes me wonder if America, the land of instant gratification, convenience, and honey boo boo child, is the main ingredient in this phenomenon.  i wonder if we, as Americans, fear being in charge/taking responsibility, really disciplining our kids, and persevering through children's disapproval of our decisions (within reason).  maybe we even quietly judge such parenting because we believe children (especially really young ones) should [above all else] be happy, and children don't act happy if we decide and enforce what is appropriate behavior.  i say we, but i think i actually mean mainstream America, and maybe what i actually mean to say is that i'm the one not-so-silently judging said group.  maybe this is hitting a nerve in all (read: both) of my readers.  maybe you're the ones that quietly judge people silly people like me (who started to teach patience to a six month old at mealtime) and i'm silently judging people like you because your similarly-aged child is throwing food and screaming at the local taco joint where we're having a nice family dinner (sans food fight).

well.  no matter what your parenting philosophy.  parenting is such. hard. work.  isn't it?  i think i've developed much thicker skin and deeper patience over this past year or so than i've ever had to my whole life.  and i have this feeling that i'm still just at the beginning.  i'm kind of holding my breath for when the fit hits the shan and my sweet little boy actually starts going through the official terrible two's, and i wonder how i'll feel about this all in the thick of it.  maybe i'm just naive right now.

anyway, i understand that any potential criticism regarding parenting is very touchy, and so i hope you're still my friends after this post.

lovelove,
philosophical parent

product push: the tommee tippee explora bib

finally.  after four different kinds of terrible bibs, we have found our true bib love.  here are the reasons you must also go and purchase this item immediately:

• it does not have any fabric element to it, so it doesn't take forever to dry and it won't fall apart or smell funky after a few hand washes.  
• they say the material is soft and light and they're telling the truth.  it's flexible, so it doesn't choke the child's neck.
• it doesn't fasten with velcro, yippee!  velcro loses its power after a while, which, let's be honest here, power is exactly what little toddlers are made of.  
• the crumb catcher is always open and able to catch what falls.  all others so far have been particularly flimsy in that department, making them essentially useless.  this one catches nearly everything.  moses has been starting to eat from both his plate and the bib pocket because there's so yummy much food that's collected in there during the meal.  
• it's all one piece of continuous plastic--no piping, no crevices, no special washing instructions.  very easy.

the one down side i've noticed so far: it's very tempting to chew on (because it's so flexible and rubbery).  however, once the crumb catcher has done its job and is full of food, the last thing you want is for the boy to tip it over and chew on the bottom of the pocket.  today, he did it, and we ended up with bits of cheese and noodles somehow making their way out of the clever pocket, over his head, and down his back.  what?  

lovelove,

crumbs mcgee

hand, foot, and mouth disease

sheesh.  ever since we moved to Atlanta, sickness has had a tight grip on our little family.  there hasn't yet been a time where one member of the K3 has not been sick with some kind of upper respiratory, GI or skin problem.  maybe it's because we're adapting to the viruses, bacteria and allergens in this unfamiliar region of the country. maybe it's the superbugs that the hard-working (and devastatingly handsome) ER nurse has been bringing home from work (ick).  maybe it's the stress of transition and uncertain next steps.  maybe it's because we have a one-year old who is wired to explore mouth-first, and this, combined with semi-frequent trips to Walmart.

maybe it's because we're puny little weaklings.

whatever the reason, we have been sick.  painful sore throats, headaches, persistent coughs, congestion, runny noses, pink eye, rashes, fevers, nausea, soreness, diarrhea, mosquito bites by the dozens, you name it, we've endured it.

nothing has been officially diagnosed, but we have spent a small fortune on over-the-counter medicines and a few prescription drugs as well.

the latest plague on our house has been hand, foot, and mouth disease (poor little baby).  not to be confused with hoof-and-mouth or foot-and-mouth disease, which is what all the websites say.  the photos are scary, which is why we thought Mo didn't have it.  he had a crazy high fever and a weird rash all over his arms and legs, but not on his palms or soles and no blisters. he had a little dip in appetite, but nothing that seemed too unusual for a toddler, according to me.  also, he had some loose stools, which is not really mentioned in many HFMD websites.  unfortunately, after denying it was HFMD and letting our son play with a family friend's kid, our friend called yesterday and let us know that her son was diagnosed with it.  sorry bubby.  he actually got the classic HFMD sores in the mouth that all the websites talk about, so i guess Mosey just has the virus and is presenting with different symptoms.

anyway.  he's been on the mend and has been in a delightful mood, so that's good.  today was a weird day for his poops and he was a tiny bit feverish again, but maybe that's a whole different issue altogether.  who really knows.  i'm just hanging on and trying to get through this period.  i'm sure we'll all be healthy again someday.  i'm really looking forward to it.

lovelove,
helen for the contagious 3

babysitter

okay, so we've had some experience leaving lil mo with friends and family and church nurseries.  but this weekend was our first time hiring a babysitter to watch him for 7 hours while we went to a wedding (1.5 hours away!).  she got him up from his nap, fed him a snack and then dinner, played with him, bathed him, and put him to bed in the evening!  and he apparently loved it and even snuggled with her a bit after his nap!  he went to sleep at night with no problem, and just had an overall pleasant time with this new person.

we were only a tiny bit sad that he wasn't devastated that we weren't there with him.  mostly, we felt proud and happy that Momo is a well-adjusted, delightful little toddler.  i guess all the work and time in random church nurseries has paid off.  also, if i get a full-time job sometime soon (fingers crossed), we know that Mo will be fine in daycare or with a nanny.

another new thing that happened this week is that he obeyed when i told him he shouldn't be in the kitchen.  for the past 4 months or so, i've been trying to teach him that he can't play in our [small] kitchen (which is apparently a heart-crushing lesson, by the way he reacts).  i figure it's super dangerous if he's under my feet when there are hot and sharp items that can fall on him, and there really isn't a good enough reason to crawl into the fridge or the dishwasher anyway.  so i wanted to teach him early that the kitchen isn't a place to play.  i remove him from the area every time, tell him no, and put him down away from the kitchen without affection or reward or real reaction really.  over and over.  and over.  and over.  and over!  it's always during dinner prep time, when he's most clingy and most hungry, and coincidentally, when i'm most occupied.  but yesterday, i removed him from the area twice.  when he came by the third time, i told him no, he can't play in here, and [without my physical intervention] he made a face, but crawled back into the living room and started playing on his own!  what?? a miracle!  it may never happen again for years, but i am really excited that it even happened this one time.

lovelove,
me