hamburger helper

so, moses is a hamburger for halloween this year.  we got him in his costume for a "spooktacular" event at the local YMCA this weekend, and we had a great time.  it was mainly for kids that were about 3 and over, so there wasn't much for momo, but that was just fine by him.  he loves watching other kids, and man, when we got to the area with the moon bounce and slide, you would have thought he won the lottery.  and, i guess all the kids were a great inspiration for him to walk, plus, i think the hamburger suit gave him extra confidence.  he walked more that night than we've ever seen him walk!  it was a blast.

also, i would like to mention that moses is a really obedient kid most of the time.  the other day, i told him not to eat something and he pulled it out of his mouth and handed it to me.  what a sweetheart.  i hope his sweetness never changes.

also, i would like to mention that the words "clap" and "quack" sound very similar.  we have a book called farm animals, and moses has consistently clapped at the end of the book for a month or so now.  i wondered what it was about that book, and i realized, on the last page, there are ducks and they say, "quack quack quack," and moses is just following instructions!  :O)

lovelove,
me

i was angry!

we live in a ground floor apartment, which means that sometimes i leave my kitchen door open and let momo play on the sidewalk/yard right outside while i clean up.  well, yesterday, as i was getting our groceries in the house, i passed by that very sidewalk, and there was dog poop right in the spot where our precious baby likes to play!!  and there were big juicy flies all over it and flying all past our windows.  i was hopping mad!  i mean, the owners of that dog might as well have taken their dog's poop and smeared it directly on our child.  i was so angry.  for hours!  like fire-in-my-belly mad.  i honestly can't remember ever feeling this way.  i guess it's a momma-bear reaction?  anyway, it passed, and my super-human husband cleaned it up and even disinfected the area with some bleach.  

i filed a complaint with our office because it's been happening rather frequently recently.  bah.  i actually want to just find out who is doing it myself, collect the poops, and leave it on their sidewalk so that they can deal with it.  is that vindictive/obsessive?  maybe.  i blame it on the momma-bear reaction, because i would never even dream of doing such a thing if my baby's safety weren't part of the picture.  weird, huh?

in other, less angry news, i meant to mention that moses's favorite word these days is "dott'n."  like i'm crossing my T's and dott'n my I's.  he says it all the time, and it's just so lovely.  we haven't yet been able to prescribe a meaning to it, as we had been able to uncode his previous regularly-recurring phrase "boom boom boom," which was "i'm tired of this now."  

he also has been puckering his lips like a duck, and also sucking in his cheeks sometimes.  it's a face that invites even more kisses than usual, if you can imagine that.  

lovelove,

dott'n

peek-a-boo and other fun activities

last month, moses began to do a few things that i haven't yet grown tired of:

• peek-a-boo with his hands.  he laughs every time, which makes me laugh every time.
• that sound you used to make when you played cowboys and indians; the one for the indians where you put your hand over your [open] mouth to change the sound of your voice... i'm having a hard time describing it, but i think you know what i mean.  he has his mouth open and in a little smirk--so delightful!
• he did the sign for potty today!
• he feeds other people his food.  oh. so. cute.
• he asks for things by stretching his hand straight out in a robot clasp position.  it's super duper cute too.  
• he offers items to me to play with for a moment and then asks for them back. things like the phone, a stick, a water bottle.  it makes me feel like we're friends and that sharing is a natural trait for him.
• he put on his dad's hat, and he wore his own hat this morning for a good long while.  
• he can have his teeth brushed without a fuss.
• he gives up his pacifier after naps because he knows they're just for the crib.  when he plays around the crib and grabs a paci, he turns and hands it back to me or Shane.  it's so obedient that it makes my heart nearly burst with pride.  

something i have grown quite tired of?  his meltdowns.  today at dinner, he proceeded to completely unravel while i was cutting and cooling off his pizza.  he couldn't just wait patiently like he normally does.  mysterious.  it makes me think of God cutting and cooling off his good gifts, waiting until they're cool enough not to hurt me... all the while i have my own meltdown, thinking that he's never going to feed me again.

lovelove,

early bird

walking and hiring

so, momo decided to take his first real steps on Friday, October 12th.  that was four days ago, and you honestly wouldn't probably even know that it has happened.  he's now back to his usual crawling self with the occasional toddle.  i was actually expecting that he wouldn't take his first strides until he was on the very cusp of abnormal (like four months from now, so i feel this is actually quite early), just as he took his sweet time with the milestones of rolling over and crawling.  three other moms and i were pregnant at approximately the same time and have approximately the same age boys.  we keep in touch by email and various methods, and keep up with struggles and triumphs and such things.  i believe they've really been a huge part of my growth as a mother and a person over the last year+.  anyway, all three other boys have already started walking, and one of them even started at 10 months (i think it was), and so i suppose mo is just determined to bring the average walking age up a few months.  just as well.  he's a content kid, and i love that he likes to sit around.  he sat in one spot outside the other day, playing quietly with a stick (waving it around, dragging it on the concrete and pointing it at things) for about 15 minutes.  it really made my heart feel full to watch him.

in other news, i reached job application # 52 last night.  i've been applying for a full-time position for about 10 months now, and i have had zero job offers.  i'm beginning to get rather discouraged, to be honest with you.  i saw an expose a few months ago, and an HR person was revealing her tricks to have female applicants disclose to her whether they were mothers of young kids.  and that if they were, she would put them on the bottom of the pile.  i suppose it makes sense, you know, mothers of young kids have high demands on their lives outside of work and there is the risk that she may need to take maternity leave in the near future if she's going to have more children.  i can definitely see it from a hiring company's perspective.   i'm not saying this is definitely why i'm not getting job offers... but i have had some really promising first round interviews and then dead ends.  also, i hear that hiring folks can use access to our public facebook pages and blogs and other online sources to help with their decisions, and if that is the case, it is obvious that i have a young child.  i have thought about hiding all of my personal online information, but i just keep thinking that my family is a big part of who i am, and that is who i believe should be hired.  i do have more demands on my life outside of my [currently non-existent] workplace, but i also believe i have more resources, motivation, and richness to draw from than when i was single.  i actually thought about deleting this public blog and making my facebook private, but i just feel... somehow... like it would take away from my integrity or honesty.  although... maybe all this speculation is all for nothing, and people actually aren't hiring me because i'm making some colossal mistake in my applications and interviews.

anyway.  if you're reading this because you're thinking about hiring me--hi!  please, hire me!  i'm desperate for work, and i will do a good job!

lovelove,
pho momma

Book Review: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

so, i'm reading this book more than a year late i guess (after all the "publicity" it had received in the Wall Street Journal and on TV has long since settled down).  even though people call Chua a monster, criticizing her parenting style, even going as far as calling her a child abuser (tiger mothers are pretty extreme in their strict parenting)... i have to say, i could really relate to her family.  i'm not saying that i'm a tiger mother, at least not now, but there is a real tender part of my heart that is going to remain so grateful for my own parents.  i am 100% sure that i would not have the education and successes i've had so far in life if it hadn't been for them and their tiger-ish parenting (my mom is far too much of a pushover to be a tiger mother; my dad makes up for any gap there).  i am the person i am today because of their hard work.

with that said, i also recognize that there are flaws in the tiger mothering approach (as there are flaws in every approach of parenting in our fallen world).  and with candid experience and dry humor, Chua lays it all out there, highlights and lowlights for everyone to see [and criticize].  i actually think it took a lot of humility and bravery on her part to be so transparent throughout the book.  she is passionate, so smart, and sometimes, well a lot of times, slightly irrational and over-reactive, but always self-aware and focused.  i like her.

it's hard to disagree with data that says that tiger mothers produce highly successful kids.

i liked her dissection of western and eastern cultures.  i think that, having grown up korean american, i have a lot of my american and korean culture rolled up into a messy ball of yarn.  i don't know which is which and i find it sometimes difficult to articulate well what i think about the differences and which culture is actually at my core.  add into the mix that discussions about *my* culture are usually with others who may either be quietly judgmental toward korean culture or strangely intrigued by [exotic] korean culture.  it's very strange.  so, it was kind of refreshing to hear Chua's take on things, because especially in the beginning of the book, she was very clear that Chinese parents are superior.  i don't know, i don't usually hear that perspective, especially spoken so frankly and so articulately and in such an informed way (she also grew up in the States, so she was able to contrast western and eastern with real examples).

anyway, i do believe i've written a lot.  i hope you decide to read at least a little bit of this book.  and keep in mind that she's funny, so you don't take her so seriously.  i think it would be less offensive that way.

lovelove,
what-kind-of-mom-am-i-going-to-be?

my first public [child-related] embarrassment, my superhero abilities, and some notes

moses and i were in trader joe's the other day, and i absent-mindedly (and quite foolishly) left the shopping cart within baby arm's reach of a large display of wine bottles.  while my back was turned (again, quite foolish), moses managed to get a really good grip on a piece of cardboard that had about 4-5 bottles of wine on it, and pulled it right out from the display.  what a strong baby!  sheesh.  the bottles came crashing down, and the bottom half of my jeans got a good spray of white wine and shattered glass.  after i made sure that moses was unharmed (yes, he was fine), i scooted us off to the bathroom to get the tiny shards of glass out of my sandals...  but not before i profusely apologized to the super-nice employees that had quickly assembled and felt my face burn with my hot embarrassment.  

i know it probably happens all the time.  and one of the employees even told me those very words--that it happens all the time.  but still.  it was our child, and me who wasn't looking!  i was *that* clueless mom in the store who should have been watching her kid!  ai.

well.  as long as i'm writing, i should probably tell you, i also feel like a problem-solving superhero today because i have felt success on a few fronts.

1. moses had been fussier/clingier than usual and taking shorter and shorter afternoon naps (waking up after two hours and jumping up and down for an hour or so).  he had stopped sleeping during his morning naps last week, so i just dropped laying him down altogether.  it occurred to me the day before yesterday that it might be catching up with us and he actually might be overtired... and that might be why he's fussier/clingier and sleeping less.  i decided to stay at home and work on resting.  i laid him down in the morning yesterday (he didn't sleep but he had a good 45 minutes of quiet time), we played at home the rest of the morning, and then BINGO, he had a 3 hour nap in the afternoon.  i guess he was just needing more sleep to get him to sleep more!  :O)  problem solved.  we had a better day yesterday, and today's been alright too.  he took his 45 minute nap this morning and sleeping soundly now... we'll see how long he sleeps today.
2. mo's hair was getting all matted and weird in the back of his head and combing wasn't fixing it.  i decided to use a bunch of soap and really get it lathered in the bath the day before yesterday.  well, it fixed the problem, and now it's back to being nice and soft!
3. these past few days, he's used the signs for milk, all done, and more!  i've been signing to him nearly everyday since about 9 months ago, and it's finally made a difference this week.  i'm partly frustrated that he's taken this long because i'm certain he's known what they mean for quite some time, but mostly, i'm super proud and excited to see his little hands making signs!  i know he may become disinterested in signs by this time next week, but i got the satisfaction of communicating with him this way for at least a little while.  i'm a proud momma.

also, some side notes that i've been meaning to write down:

• his current favorite foods are green beans and brown rice.
• yesterday, for the first time, he ate more than me and shane for dinner.  zucchini pie, green beans, grapes and milk.  i couldn't believe how much he put away!  maybe he's hitting a growth spurt!  24 month clothing, here we come!  or maybe he'll finally get a little rounder again and his 18 month clothes won't fall down!  :O) 
• he seems to really hate walking.  he even full on cried yesterday after taking one step on his own.  i'm pretty certain he wants to wait until the very last week of when we should not worry (is it like 18 months?) and started walking then.  he likes to be the one to balance out the average ages for milestones, i think.  
• he's started to hide behind blankets and sneak up behind me to surprise me.  we chase each other around the living room, and we've been having some great belly laughs these days.  we're finally playing together, and that's been really fun! 

a couple of months ago, i made a photo book with milestones and notes for moses' first year.  it was a terrific pain-in-the-behind to put together, but this blog with notes really helped with the details that fade so quickly. so, i'm going to keep writing these sorts of things down to remind myself... if i decide to make another book for his 2nd year.  too bad for his younger sibling(s).  they will not get that sort of attention, i think.  and no, we're not pregnant.  :O) 

lovelove,

me

the recent nap transition

so, it's slightly early, but ever since Moses was about a year old, he was beginning to drop down to one nap a day.  he would take a longer nap in the morning and then his afternoon nap would consist of him entertaining himself for about an hour and a half by talking excitedly, throwing around pacifiers and teddy bears, and jumping up and down in the crib.  i think it was probably a whole lot of fun.

so, last week, i decided [against popular wisdom], to drop his morning nap shortly before an out-of-town trip.    it actually worked out really fine.  i did drop to one nap cold turkey, as has been my MO with mo.  i just moved his afternoon nap from about 2 to about 12:30 or so.  the next day was sunday, and he seemed rather sleepy in the morning, so i laid him down for 45 minutes, and he squeezed in a half hour nap before church.  the day after, he seemed good to go in the morning, so we went out and returned in time for him to doze briefly in the van, eat lunch, and lay down for a longer afternoon nap.  he woke up at about 2 hours, cried for less than 10 seconds, and then slept for another half hour.  he's been able to sleep longer and longer until now he's been able to reach 3 hours and 45 minutes.  it's not every day, and sometimes he still needs his morning nap, but he's doing well.  and his nighttime sleep is fairly regular, except for one cry out (for less than 10 seconds) once a week or so, which started before we started dropping down to one nap, so i'm going to go ahead and blame it on teething.  ha.  or maybe it's dreaming--i heard that kids dream now.  or maybe it's separation anxiety.  or maybe he's thirsty.  or maybe... it could be anything, really.  

anyway, what i really wanted to say here was that i am loving that longer afternoon nap!  i even got a very restful 2 hour nap myself just yesterday.  it was marvelous.  plus, when we skip the nap in the morning, we can have a fun outing--like today, our family went out to downtown decatur and had a nice walk together.  

lovelove,

mamama

PS: i meant to mention that momo dropped down to one nursing session about a month ago on his own.  just the morning one now, and i think he'll drop it on his own too.  it's been a nice slow process.  i recommend it.