my little heart is breaking

i know only a few people read this blog, so i feel that i can safely confess here. i spanked mosey for the first time this week. i realize that it's a very controversial topic, and that the issue is very much slanted toward the side of "spanking will ruin your child for life." unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on what side you fall on), both shane and i were spanked as kids, and we are both thankful that we were. so, we have decided that there are times when it will be necessary to spank mosey. 

up until this week, we have been able to discipline our regularly easy-going child by giving him time outs. however, this week, moses has transitioned into having some really tremendous tantrums. he has started to hit us during them, and has also become completely unwilling to stand in time out. so, we decided it's come time to implement spanking. there are a few things that we have discussed and agreed to, such as giving him ample warning, moving into a private room, making sure we are controlled (we are not hitting from anger), telling him before how many times we'll spank him, explaining afterward what has happened, and asking him to apologize and forgiving him. 

well, i did all these things. during bath time afterward, he told me so sadly, "mommy, boo boo bottom." i got him dressed and sat with him to make sure he was okay (he, of course, had fully recovered by then--young children are really so forgiving)...

and i held that sweet boy and bawled my little eyes out. 

i remember a wise counselor friend of ours said that a parent's job is to teach two things: (1) the child is deeply and wholly loved, and (2) the child will never win. he explained that it's a simple reflection of what they will ultimately need to know about God. i don't want to get all theological here, so i'll leave it at that, and also say that i pretty much agree. it makes it simultaneously easy and painfully hard.

lovelove,

little me