big brother

this weekend, i was doing something in the kitchen, and i overheard moses and eden really interacting like brother and sister in the playroom. moses was teaching eden how to play with the "zany zoo" wooden activity toy, saying "... and what's behind this door? *gasp* it's a zebra!!" and then you can push these beads on top, and you can move this piece up and down... and eden was intently listening! when i walked in, he had his one arm around her back as he was teaching her. it was one of the single-most heart-filling moments i've ever experienced as a parent. i am so proud of him, i can hardly stand it.

also this weekend, moses read a book to eden for the first time. so...i guess he can read now? kindergarten is awesome!

punching

we got our first serious note home from the teacher this week. mo had punched brady on monday, then on tuesday, he had punched luke. twice. ms. mcmillon had given him a serious talk after each incident, and finally, she moved him down to a yellow (instead of green). when i heard the news, i was so very sad. i began to try to figure out where we had gone wrong; where had he learned to punch? was he a bully? was he a troubled child? was my absence last week (i was at the maloneys) traumatic for him? was he getting enough sleep? was he internalizing all the fighting at home? was this the beginning of the end of our thoughtful little boy? after crying a little bit, i came back to reality, that he is a five-year old boy. he has never had troubles like this before, and he is surrounded by people who all agree that this is not appropriate behavior. i used the afternoon to try to figure out whether there was some trouble at school, and after finding none, we worked hard on a letter to the teacher to say that moses was sorry, and he doesn't want to punch. he promised me that he would never do it again (unprompted). he drew a picture of what kids do when they're friends, even down to the wood chips that must be on his playground. and specific colors of jackets that his friends wear. i also withheld a very coveted toy last night. i think we maneuvered through that situation pretty well, not over-punishing either, because i really don't want to create a different kind of situation, where he is terrified of punishment, or he does bad things to get attention, or what have you. 

anyway, the bottom line is this: moses, please treat people well. be a defender of the weak and downtrodden. don't take advantage of others. love deeply and speak truth. 

Butterflies

The other day, Mo and I were outside and we were admiring a butterfly who was fluttering around our backyard. He told me that it's good that we had caterpillars who ate through our cabbage, because they grew up and became these beautiful butterflies, because you like butterflies. The connection made me feel really comforted about my lost cabbages actually. I love that kid so much. :) 

Style and reading

It's been a little while, but Moses said to me that he thinks I should go shopping and buy some new clothes because mine are getting old and stained. I sometimes wonder where he gets it, and then I remember that so much of his family is artistic. Uncle David is even a fashion designer. Of course he notices things like this!

Moses started kindergarten a couple of weeks ago, and he is doing great. Ms. McMillon is so sweet and she told us how bright and eager Moses is. He gets along with everyone and always makes her laugh. She said she would encourage us to work on his letter sounds (that he only knows about 2/3 really well). I'm super impressed that she knows that, right? 

During parent night, she told us about how they will learn narrative style, opinion style, and instruction style writing this year. And that one of the goals is proper punctuation. And you know what I was thinking? Mind. Blown. My baby is going to know what "punctuation" means, and how to use it. 

I'd been wondering when it would click for him that when we read books together, the words we say are connected to the words he sees on the page. Well, i noticed him doing that tonight for the first time ever! It was pretty exciting! It's happening!! 

Little man

Driving with Justin Timberlake (deemed "cool" by little man) blasting and windows rolled down, by request. Fun! Haha 

Reading

Moses is slowly starting to read and its so exciting. He is also really delightful these days. He stayed up to watch fireworks with us tonight, and we even had real ones go off over our house (thank you across the street neighbors!).

he knows so much, but he's also still 4

"mommy, this car is a corvette (gesturing to one of his hot wheels)."

"oh yeah?" i responded, with a bit of doubt.

"yeah, mommy, see, it's got [tail] lights like a corvette," he answered me in a knowing/teacher-like way.

oh. my son's knowledge of cars has officially surpassed mine. haha :)

meanwhile, later that day, "mommy, my tummy hurt, and when i went poop, i had a diorama." hahaha

Night potty training

Moses is finally night time potty trained!! He had been struggling with wetting his bed / having to wear pull ups pretty much since Eden was born. So like a year and a half ago. OMG, had it really been that long? Well, I suppose it has, because we had our wet bed change down to a system! We had 3 sets of sheets/water proof mattress covers on his bed, and when he came to us with pee pee pjs, one person stripped off one set of sheets from his bed in the dark,  while the other changed the weepy son in the bathroom. Eden hardly ever woke up during these times, but when she did, she just went right back to bed. About three months ago, I started to wonder if waking him up to pee at midnight or so was making him pee his bed more. So we stopped, and voilà no more wet bed! Except for a couple of times from being sick, but I think we've finally made it to the promise land!! 

Love him. :) 

Forgiveness

I admit, I am hard on Moses. I expect a lot from him--he is so smart and he has so much EQ, and he can be so amazing! But with these high expectations, I am also often disproportionately disappointed by his 4-year old boy behavior. Disproportionate disappointment, combined with my exhaustion and general lack of margin, I realize I lose my cool a lot. Like, a whole lot, much more than I'd like to admit. So I apologize a lot. And my wonderful son forgives a lot. His forgiveness is so pure. So simple. Without strings or need for proof. He just forgives and affirms his neverending love for me. "I love you times infinity, Mommy!" 

I have so much to learn about forgiveness in my life. About how to receive it. How to offer it. How to fall into its freedom. About how to really love. And my 4-year old boy is teaching me all about it. 

What did your mom look like, Mommy?

Tonight, while snuggling quietly in Moses's bed, he asked me to tell him about my mom. I was describing her and telling him how very pretty she was, and he looked at me with wide eyes, "was she as pretty as you??" It was so sweet. 

He watched me talk about her, and When I got teary-eyed, he noticed and said, "are you sad mommy? Because she died?" I told him yes, I miss her very much. 

He listened intently and asked questions about her. He asked if she was smart. He asked me if she liked to do hair because she was so beautiful. He asked me if my dad has died. And then remembered happily that he had seen him on Monday. 

I wanted the time to never end. I finally tore myself away at 8:30. Too late for a four and a half year old to be going to bed, but not long enough for this momma to soak it all in. He is such a bright, caring, eager, fun little boy. I hope I get to see him grow old and wise. 

He was surprised to find out that he'll always be my son, even when he's a dad/grown up. Haha. I love that kid. 

Name that tune!

Moses's super human ability is being able to name that tune. Shane and I were saying the other day that we had "My House" stuck in our heads. If you know the song, and know us, you would likely know that when we sang the song, it didn't sound like much. But then, days later, the song came on the radio. And at the very first note, of the song, not even the chorus, before I even recognized it, Moses said excitedly, "Hey, it's that dog that you and Daddy had in your head!" 

Superhuman ability. Bam. 

my mom

my mother passed away shortly before Christmas last year. our family was already en route to Maryland to spend the holidays up there, but we just missed seeing my mom one last time. i kind of had a feeling that would be the case, but it was hard no matter. i tried to be clear and communicative about everything with Moses, using simple language and describing everything that was about to happen, and everything that was happening, and everything that had happened. he seemed to listen and understand.

about a month went by, and out of the blue, as i was kissing him goodnight, in the darkness, my little man says to me in a hushed voice, "mommy, i'm sorry your mom died." it was so comforting, and i was reminded how much i believe that moses will grow someday to be a powerful healer. i pray for his words to bring many to the knowledge of christ.

another month or so later, moses said to me, on the way home, "mommy, your mom died, and when people die, they go to heaven and become angels. halmuhnee is an angel watching over us now." and again, i was so comforted. moses is such a remarkable person, and i am just so proud to be his mom.

Spearmint

Moses had a spearmint candy the other day. About a half hour later, he says to me, "That candy tasted like your floss, Mommy." 

"Hum? Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah, did it have floss in it??"

"No, buddy, but both the candy and the floss are the same flavor--spearmint."

"selfish"

moses, pointing to a swordfish in his book, says, "mommy, that's a 'selfish.'"

i was driving, so, without looking at exactly what he was pointing at, responded, "oh, buddy, did you mean 'shellfish?'"

"no, selfish, mommy. it's a self-fish."

this went back and forth a couple of times, and finally seeing that he was pointing to an animal that actually looked like a fish and not a shell, i realized he was trying to guess what a 'selfish' was.

cute, right?? :) haha, love that kid.

i agreed that selfish sounded like a type of fish, but that word means something else. it's when a person thinks much more about what he wants or needs than what other people want and need. we discussed that a bit, and he seemed really satisfied with that.

in related news, tonight at dinner, he voluntarily offered everyone a bite of his cookie. it was so sweet. that kid.

Favorite thing he says these days:

when he knocks Eden down, he goes over to her and says, "Are you okay, Babe?"

he should really learn to be more careful, but really really adorable.

Does he really have memories from 3 years ago?

I bought these Korean rice snacks last month, those ones that are the size of dinner plates. The last time I had bought them was when Moses was Eden's age, because they are easy to hold and eat for babies. And we never had them again because Shane didn't enjoy them, and the bag of them was just too big for me and Moses to finish. 

Well, I bought them again, 3 years later, for Eden to try and enjoy. I handed Moses one, and he immediately said, "I've had these before, Mommy!" With a little nudging, he told me more, "I ate these when I was a baby, at Colonial Homes (our previous apartments), and it was yummy, and I liked to suck on them, because I was a baby and I liked them." 

Wow, right?