punching

we got our first serious note home from the teacher this week. mo had punched brady on monday, then on tuesday, he had punched luke. twice. ms. mcmillon had given him a serious talk after each incident, and finally, she moved him down to a yellow (instead of green). when i heard the news, i was so very sad. i began to try to figure out where we had gone wrong; where had he learned to punch? was he a bully? was he a troubled child? was my absence last week (i was at the maloneys) traumatic for him? was he getting enough sleep? was he internalizing all the fighting at home? was this the beginning of the end of our thoughtful little boy? after crying a little bit, i came back to reality, that he is a five-year old boy. he has never had troubles like this before, and he is surrounded by people who all agree that this is not appropriate behavior. i used the afternoon to try to figure out whether there was some trouble at school, and after finding none, we worked hard on a letter to the teacher to say that moses was sorry, and he doesn't want to punch. he promised me that he would never do it again (unprompted). he drew a picture of what kids do when they're friends, even down to the wood chips that must be on his playground. and specific colors of jackets that his friends wear. i also withheld a very coveted toy last night. i think we maneuvered through that situation pretty well, not over-punishing either, because i really don't want to create a different kind of situation, where he is terrified of punishment, or he does bad things to get attention, or what have you. 

anyway, the bottom line is this: moses, please treat people well. be a defender of the weak and downtrodden. don't take advantage of others. love deeply and speak truth.