i witnessed my child making a grown up decision

mo woke up today in a bad mood.  he's been doing this less frequently this week (he'd had a rash of it since we moved, i think the transition has been a tiny bit hard on his sleep pattern), but still, this morning he woke up grumpy.  i got him up and popped out his pacifier, and he started crying like crazy.  i popped the pacifier back in his mouth and he immediately calmed down.  (this isn't the grown up decision yet.)

i sat down with him on our nursing chair, got out the boob, and lined momo up to feed.  he reached out with his hand and smiled behind his pacifier, because i'm sure he was hungry for breakfast.  but then, the dilemma-- he wanted to keep his paci in his mouth!  he furiously sucked on the paci while he held onto the boob and thought about it.  then, he took his hand back, grabbed the paci, popped it out from his own mouth, frowned BIG time (but held back the tears!), and latched on to me.  and it was all good!  haha... it was amazing to watch him decide to make a sacrifice for something better.  my heart swelled with pride.

some new developments in mo's world these days: he loves cheerios, he loves to pick them up and shove them in his mouth and make them go crunch!  i think he's getting bored of baby food, which is just as well, because it's getting expensive!  he pulls up and cruises around like nothing.  he sometimes forgets how to get back on the ground, but he's getting it more often these days.  he knocked his mouth on the coffee table and got his first real injury this week (yes, there was bleeding, and yes, i cried [read: sobbed] about it).  he doesn't hardly play with the books on the bookshelf or the outlets or the trash or shoes anymore--yes, i believe babies can learn boundaries!  even still, we are learning that he cannot be left out of our sight for very long before he finds mischief.  wow.  it's hard work!

we also took mo to our new pediatrician this week for his 9 month checkup, just a day after his 10 month birthday.  he's a nice doctor, pretty no nonsense, and still easy going.  a good combination.  he answered all my questions about feeding (basically we're really down to 4 meals a day now: breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bedtime nursing) and he complemented us on how easy our baby is (he told us we were doing a good job, saying easy babies are easy because parents set the pace for sleep, nutrition and hygiene).  overall, a great visit.  he measures:

• 21 lbs, 10.6 oz: 80th percentile for weight
• 29.75 inches: 90th percentile for height
• 18 inches: 75th percentile for head circumference

lovelove,

me

clean floor?

i had this amazing ability to drop things yesterday.  the worst one?  a glass baby food jar of sweet potatoes.  it shattered from both ends and i found orange puree and shards of glass over eight feet from the point of impact. i managed to sweep and clean the area about five times over while little one was fussing for food in his high chair.  after i finished cleaning, i almost dropped a *second* jar of sweet potatoes nearly right away.  jeez oh pete.

i was honestly quite anxious while i was picking up glass because i was imagining little mo get shards in his knees or in his mouth.  he is not able to properly eat a cheerio without assistance most of the time, but if he finds the tiniest debris on the floor that is not food, he is able to deftly [and miraculously] maneuver it into his mouth and begin chewing before i can even blink.  it's an amazing trick actually.

by the way, i gave our child honey nut cheerios.  then i read online how you shouldn't do that before 1 year.  i didn't think about the honey or the nuts when i was purchasing the cereal.  :O( i hope he doesn't get botulism.  thankfully, i am pretty sure he's not allergic to nuts, seeing as how i gave him tastes of peanut butter already without thinking too much about it.  ai.  i keep thinking about how it's a miracle of God that children survive their first year of life.  thank you, Lord, for another day with our precious liddo one.

love,
me

transitions and a full heart

we moved up to Atlanta a couple weeks ago.  we had been living in Florida with my in-laws for a time, and after saving up some money, it seemed like things really all fell into place for us to make the move.  and it's gone surprisingly well... surprising because i'm not a fan of moving and am a creature of habit and i hate packing and transitions and living out of bags and boxes.  add a 9 month old to the mix, and there is a great potential for me to be stressed out.  but again, it's all gone surprisingly well.  mo has really been delightful, and has had some bumpy times (shorter naps, more crying and lots of clingy-ness), but he's generally taken things like a champ.  he doesn't love his carseat anymore, and our 6.5 hours of driving has stretched to about 10.5 hours back and forth, but what can we expect from a new crawler who wants to get out and see the world?  

along that train of thought, i have to say, all the crawling has really thinned our little chunker out.  i was squeezing his little calves just the other day, and they weren't as hard as they used to be (the fat used to stretch his skin to the max and made them feel hard).  and suddenly there aren't as many fat folds all around his thighs.  and he's looking more and more like a toddler and not an infant, especially as he's been stepping up to 12 and 18 month clothing.  and people keep mentioning his first birthday being around the corner.  and i don't want my baby to grow up.  wah.

another way to say it, to copy my friend's statement, is that my heart is full.  moses is such a gift and so enjoyable and so sweet and when he squeals and crawls with great abandon into our legs, it is so amazing.  his sloppy kisses are just the best things and when he pats my arm and smiles, i just want to eat him whole.  even seeing him chew food makes me want to sing.  i love that kid!  my heart is so full!  

i guess that's why people have more babies.  well, that, and the sheer misery of pregnancy and newborn days is a distant memory that is becoming increasingly romanticized day-by-day.  and no, we're not pregnant.

love,

helen  :O) 

i regretted my decision immediately

i've been giving Moses small tastes of various flavors over the last couple of months because (in theory) it will make them into better eaters as older kids... well, at least more tolerant of different kinds of foods.  so, on sunday, we were at bee-dubs (a wing place), and i had a bite of a delicious curry flavored chicken wing.  without thinking too much about it, i put a little sauce on my finger and offered it to Moses, who very willingly sucked it right off.  as it turned out, it was actually quite spicy.  enter regret.  and guilt.  :O]

as the fire was slowly and frighteningly spreading in my own mouth, i could see the pain spread across Mo's little facial expression as well.  i tried offering other foods, and of course, he doesn't know anything about that, so he just knows his mouth hurts and he wants it to stop.  poor baby.  after what seemed like a really long time, i got ice water into his mouth using a straw, and that actually seemed to help.  thank goodness. crisis averted.  turns out that spiciness was appropriate motivation for mo to drink a bit more water through the straw regularly on his very own!  way to excel, sweet boy.

love,

me

whoopsies, cry-it-out-gone-wrong

looks like i'm not winning any awards this week for mommy of the year.  i put mo down for a nap yesterday afternoon, just normal-like, and he played a little while and then instead of just falling sleeping, he started to cry.  see, sometimes (seldomly these days, but sometimes), he cries for like five or ten minutes before he can settle down and fall asleep.  so, i thought i'd wait it out, instead of teaching momo that crying will earn a social visit from mommy.  well, the cries got louder and louder, and i just kept thinking, maybe he'll go to sleep in the next five minutes... and 30 minutes later, he was really screaming.

i gave in and checked on him.  guess what, my friends?  he had managed to get into the sitting position and had scooted up to face the side of the crib, so i guess he couldn't figure out how to lie back down.  and well, he couldn't fall asleep in that position.  he was crying for someone to rescue him for 30 minutes.  whoops.  :O(

i scooped him up and held him until he caught his breath and put him back down.  he was exhausted and asleep within five minutes.  poor liddo one.

milestones are tricky sometimes i guess.  also to note, mo's appetite for solids has returned in full force, leaving breastmilk in the dust.  i wish he came with a manual.

love,
mmmmm

the day he fell off the couch

the day i have been dreading for approximately 8 months and three weeks has come.  our baby rolled off the couch and hit the floor this morning.  i had just set him down on the couch right next to me, managed to spill a small cup of juice, and was rescuing my folder and books from the growing pool, when it happened.  the sickening thud of a small body hitting the ground and shrieking cry of pure infant pain, shock and distress.

i immediately picked him up and said "mommy's sorry" about fifteen times, trying to sooth and hold him close.  of course, Mo is not really ever soothed by my embrace or touch (never has been, even as a newborn), but i still held him close and rocked him.    i held him by the sliding glass door too, which usually helps him calm down, but it didn't help much.  he kept crying for a few minutes (seemed like an eternity).  after he quieted a bit, i laid him down, opened up his pajamas and checked his body and head for injuries.  i found a two-inch straight bruise forming on his shin... i imagine that was where he hit the coffee table on the way to the floor.  :O(  other than that, no obvious bleeding or bruising, no vomiting and no mood shifts.  so that was good.

it was just about time for his nap too, and some websites said that a nap after a fall is okay and could actually be restorative for the baby.  so, i put him down and he seems to have fallen asleep quite well, so i think that was another good sign (he's no longer crying and in pain).  i still hear him breathing on the baby monitor, so i'm glad for that too.  i'll be anxiously waiting for him to wake up so i can make sure of his behavior and everything.

if you sense a large undertone of mommy guilt here, you are correct.  man.  i'm so sorry, little buddy.

love,
me

sitting, waving, and crawling

okay, so lots of milestones here in the last week or so.  i think that Mo likes to save them up and do them all at once.  :O)  a week ago, i found him sitting after his nap.  i thought it might really be his new thing, since he loves to sit up, but hadn't been able to figure out how to get from lying down to sitting up.  but well, he did it that one time, and hasn't done it since.  just like that week where he said "uhm ma" (mommy in Korean) back about three months ago and hasn't said it since.  ha.

he also started waving hello.  he did it all evening at church, took a couple days' break, and now he does it a few times a day.  :O)  yesterday, he waved to a guy coming out of a bar as we were going into a restaurant next door for dinner.  it was sweet, and i like to believe that guy's life was touched somehow.

today, he crawled for the first time.  and Shane and i were there to see it!  he didn't only do it once, he did it for a good half hour (with the camera and the iphone as his inspiration), and he just got better and better at it.  it was, as i keep saying about many things that Mo learns to do, like watching a MIRACLE.  i cried because i was happy and so proud--the anticipation of crawling had been around for a couple months now... and i cried because i was sad--our little baby is growing up.  it's such a paradox, i want so badly for Mo to grow up and become independent, and i want so badly to keep him as this pure and precious little baby.  i don't understand it, i confess.

in other news, his eating habits are wildly fluctuating.  he loved peas, now he gags and throws up if they touch his tongue.  he loved sweet potato, now he can sometimes tolerate them.  he hated meat, now he can just eat meat by itself.  he only likes smooth watery textures, he only likes chunky food.  mealtimes are just one big trial and error.  for a week in there, he barely ate anything... and guess what?  he survived, complete with all his wonderful chubbiness in tact.

love,
me